Monster

New Moon - Part 2 - rewritten from Jacob's perspective

← Chapter 2: Horror      Chapter 4: Hunt →

Chapter 3: Break-Up

When I returned home Sunday morning, I saw that Billy had left a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt hanging on the back door. I gratefully grabbed them and pulled them on. I could see the light on in the living room, so I breathed deeply and turned the knob.

Billy was sitting at the kitchen table reading a book, but he looked up as soon as he heard the door open. We looked at each other for a long time without saying anything.

“Hey dad,” I whispered, my voice rough and hoarse from two days of not saying a word.

“I’m glad you’re home,” he replied. And with that, I crossed the few feet between us and threw myself into his arms. It had been years since he had hugged me like this – comforting me and soothing me as a child – but I desperately needed it now.

“I’m sorry, son. I’m sorry,” he repeated over and over as he held me tightly.

I felt my eyes sting, but there were no tears left. I was all cried out. That first night, at the driftwood log, I had cried like I had never cried before. I was a monster. And my life – along with everything that had ever meant anything to me – was no longer mine.

When dawn broke over the forest, I realized that it wouldn’t be good to be caught hanging out naked at the beach, so I retreated into the forest – pacing the deserted cliffs all day reliving every moment of the past night trying to search for some way to make sense of it all - before I finally fell into an exhausted sleep in a warm sunny meadow. When I woke up, it was the middle of the night again and I made my way back to the beach to wait for dawn to break so that I could return home.

“You must be hungry.”

Billy let go of me as he rolled himself over to the fridge to get some food. I got up to help him, but he waved me off. I sat back down at the kitchen table in silence as he popped a gigantic salad-sized bowl into the microwave.

I glanced curiously around the living room. The last time I saw it, it had been completely demolished. The table and couch that had gotten in the way of my transformation had been flung against the far wall, breaking the lamp and scattering books and papers all over the floor. But the room had been cleaned up, everything put back in its place.

“Embry and Sam came by to fix it up,” Billy said as he saw me eying the new lamp on the end table.

“Oh … I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling guilty even though he knew that it wasn’t my fault.

“It’s nothing,” he dismissed as he grabbed the warm fragrant bowl from the microwave and placed it in front of me with a fork.

I inhaled the delicious scent of Sue’s homemade ziti and realized that I was starving. I hadn’t eaten all day yesterday, and yet it never registered through the shock and confusion. We sat quietly as I attacked the food, scarfing it all down in minutes. When I finished, I was shocked at how much I ate. But I guess being a werewolf will do that to you.

“They told me that you were able to phase back that night,” Billy said. “Something the others weren’t able to do.”

“Yeah, I …” I choked up. What was I going to say? Apparently, I’m a very talented werewolf? “I’m sorry I didn’t come back right away. I just needed…”

“I know,” Billy interrupted. “You had a good reason.”

I looked up at him and we smiled at each other sadly. Billy grabbed the bowl and began to clean up.

“I guess I’ll take a shower. I must stink,” I half-joked, half-grimaced.

Billy didn’t dispute me, so I got up and walked towards the bathroom. The phone rang and I reached over to pick it up before I realized what I was doing.

"Hello?" My voice cracked as I tried to put on some semblance of normalcy.

"Oh, Jake."

It was Bella. For a moment, I forgot everything that had happened the past two days and just relived the glorious two hours on Friday evening before the sh*t hit the fan.

She groaned sympathetically. "You sound horrible."

"I feel horrible," I whispered softly, trying to hide the hoarseness of my voice. My whole body ached from the transformation - from the tips of my toes to the deepest recesses of my brain. And the worst part was the constant burning and prickling underneath the skin, a constant reminder of the uncontrollable rage that now defined my life.

"I'm so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks."

"I'm glad I went," I said softly but urgently. "Don't blame yourself. This isn't your fault."

It’s that bloodsucker boyfriend of yours, I suddenly wanted to shout. Damn him and whatever soul he has left to hell. I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she knew. That she had known all along and yet she still wanted to be with him.

"You'll get better soon," she promised. "I woke up this morning, and I was fine."

"You were sick?" I asked dully.

"Yes, I got it, too. But I'm fine now."

"That's good,” I whispered back, fighting the urge to either break down crying or start yelling at her.

"So you'll probably be better in a few hours.”

"I don't think I have the same thing you did,” I replied sarcastically.

"Don't you have the stomach flu?" she asked, confused at my tone.

I wish. "No. This is something else."

"What's wrong with you?”

I wish I could tell you. The words almost burst out of my mouth. Holding my thoughts and feelings back from Bella just seemed wrong, and yet somehow I managed to bite my tongue. "Every part of me hurts."

"What can I do, Jake? What can I bring you?"

Suddenly, reality hit me like a mack truck. I was a werewolf. And I was dangerous. I couldn’t let her come.

"Nothing. You can't come here,” I replied swiftly and decisively despite the crack in my voice.

"I've already been exposed to whatever you have," she insisted. I could see her so clearly in my mind, on the phone in Charlie’s kitchen, twisting the phone cord and knitting her forehead with concern.

"I'll call you when I can. I'll let you know when you can come down again,” I replied quickly before she could get a chance to continue.

 "Jacob–"

What I wanted to say was, I’m sorry Bells. I’m so sorry that I’m going to have to break my promise to you, just like that other monster. But it’s not my fault. But instead, all I said was, “I’ve got to go.”

"Call me when you feel better,” she persisted.

"Right," I said, bitterly, thinking of the months of exile ahead of me. Sam thought it might take up to 6 months before I finally could see her again. Would she even take my call then I wondered sadly. I waited for her to say goodbye, dreading the moment that she did because I didn’t know when - or if – I would hear her voice again.

"I'll see you soon," she finally said, raising her voice slightly as if to make it into a question.

"Wait for me to call," I reminded her, my voice breaking up from the strain.

"Okay… Bye, Jacob."

"Bella." I whispered her name as I hung up.

Billy looked at me with sympathy written all over his face. I held back the tears until I got into the shower, and then they poured out of me, draining me completely.

← Chapter 2: Horror      Chapter 4: Hunt →

About Me

I'm a Twilight fan who believes that Jacob Black is better for Bella than Edward, so I wrote these Team Jacob fanfiction stories to try to convert as many people to my side as possible. :)

I've tried to stay as faithful to the original books as possible up through At the Cliffs, which is when I break off from canon and write out Eclipse the way I wish it had happened!

So ... what do you think? Good? Bad? Ideas for other stories?

Please let me know!

Jane

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. No money is being made from this website. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

Terms of Use      Privacy Policy