At the Cliffs

My take on New Moon / Eclipse - written from Bella's perspective

← Chapter 29: Girl Talk      Chapter 31: Home →

Chapter 30: Girl Talk - Part Two

I turned, feeling strangely numb inside, and walked towards the Rabbit.

I felt like I had just cut out part of my heart. And I realized that was exactly what I had done. I had cut out a part of me that would always wish I had made a different choice. A part of me that would always love him. Love them.

“I’m sorry, Bella.”

I looked up in shock to realize that Leah had slipped out of the driver’s seat to greet me. She looked terrible, her face was ashen grey and her eyes were bloodshot.

“Sorry for what?” I asked stupidly.

“Jake got hurt because of me. I was an idiot. I knew that leech was there. I tried to take him on myself. To prove that I could. It was all my fault. He never would have had to-“ Leah stumbled over her words as her eyes filled with tears.

I suddenly panicked, “He’s okay, right? Edward told me that he would be okay!”

“Yes, yes. Dr. Fang-“ Leah flushed as she caught herself, “-Dr. Cullen said that he’ll be fine in a few days. I just … it should have been me.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over this,” I said as gently as I could. “It’s not your fault. And he’ll be okay, so that’s all that matters.”

Leah nodded silently as she motioned me towards the car. I slipped into the passenger seat and we were silent as she turned on the engine and pulled back onto the road.

“So how is he?” I asked quietly.

Leah paused before responding. “Didn’t they tell you?”

“Yes, they did. Well, Edward did. But I don’t … tell me, how is he?”

“He’s not great.” Leah admitted. “When he jumped in to save me, he was so focused on getting me out of the way that he wasn’t able to protect himself. The leech got his arms all the around Jake and well … they’re pretty strong.”

Leah looked over at me, but I couldn’t meet her eyes just yet. The scene she had described was still playing all too vividly in my mind.

“Dr. Cullen said he looks much worse than he actually is,” Leah continued with a grimace. “Which is good, because he looks pretty bad. Prepare yourself.”

My mind now spun with images of Jake in pain, but I took a few deep breaths and forced myself to calm down. If Carlisle said he was okay, then he would be okay. There were only a few things that I was sure about in life and one of them was the infallibility of Carlisle’s medical expertise.

“How are the others?” I asked quietly, feeling guilty that I hadn’t even bothered to ask until now.

“Everyone else is fine. Just some minor scratches and bruises. Though you should hear the boys whine,” Leah said with a return of her trademark snarkiness. “Paul broke his left pinky but acts like he brought an arm. Quil isn’t much better, howling about this little cut on his cheek. As if he isn’t thrilled that he’ll finally have a battle scar to brag about to girls.”

I chuckled. “Good, I’m glad.”

“It was a good thing the Cullens came back when they did. It would have been pretty bad without them,” Leah continued solemnly.

I didn’t respond, but nodded as I kept my eyes straight ahead of me on the road.

“So … what are you going to do?” Leah asked, when she saw that I wasn’t going to respond.

“About what?”

Leah whipped her head around and glared at me. I smiled slightly. It was good to see that her sweetly apologetic persona was short-lived. I kinda liked her better like this anyways. She was honest. Brutally so. And it was refreshing.

Leah just rolled her eyes as she continued, “If you’re coming here to break that boy’s heart, then I’m turning around right now. He’s got enough broken things to be worried about right now.”

“Leah, can I ask you a question?” I said softly.

“Maybe?” she replied with a cryptic glance in my direction.

“Do you … have feelings for Jake?” I asked quickly, amazed at my own brazenness.

Leah’s eyes widened for a moment, before she chuckled.

“I guess it might look like I do on the outside, but I really don’t. Not in that way. I mean, the boy is hot as hell, I’ll give you that. I know I seem very protective and territorial about him. It’s more that … well… he’s the only guy in the pack who doesn’t treat me weirdly about being Sam’s ex-girlfriend.”

I raised my eyebrow, but Leah just rolled her eyes then as she continued.

“The others are too afraid to deal with me – afraid of the drama - but Jake has always been a gentleman. He doesn’t treat me weirdly and he’s respectful of my … space. And I know how he feels about you. I can hear his thoughts. He loves you. He REALLY loves you. It’s about as pure and as devoted and as unconditional a love as I’ve ever seen. It’s the same way that Sam feels about Emily…”

Leah’s voiced cracked now, as she fought back the tears. “And I guess, I’m jealous. I can’t help but feel that if Sam had ever loved me the way that Jake loves you, that he would never have imprinted on Emily.”

“You know he didn’t have a choice when it came to Emily,” I said soothingly. It was my turn for my voice to crack as I thought about how one day, this could very well be me crying after Jake imprinted on someone else.

“Yeah, but I also know he never loved me the way that Jake loves you.” She turned to look at me with a wry smile. “You forget. I can see into Sam’s mind too. Trust me. Hell is being in the mind of your ex-boyfriend. Seeing yourself through his eyes. Seeing your relationship through his eyes. Especially when you still …”

Leah’s voice broke off now as she continued to stare straight ahead for a few minutes before she composed herself.

“So my answer is no. I don’t have feelings for Jake. Not in that way. I just … I guess I’m just envious of you … that you have someone who loves you that much. I just don’t want you to blow it.”

I gulped. I didn’t know how much more shocked I could be. First Rosalie tells me that she’s envious of me. And now Leah.

“So you never answered my question,” Leah asked suddenly. “Should I be turning this car around?”

“What do you think?” I asked softly as I turned to really look at her for the first time.

Her eyes widened as she took a look at me. Then her face softened and her voice was gentle as she asked, “Are you sure? Even knowing that he might -”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

She nodded slowly as she looked back to the road. “Well you know where to find me if it ever happens.”

I nodded, but didn’t speak. Instead, I turned to look out my window as we crossed the Quilayete River and pulled onto the last stretch of road into La Push.

It was the perfect summer day and the reservation was gorgeous. A million shades of green extending away as far as the eye could see. The road veered suddenly to the right and the endless green broke apart to reveal the glittering blue Pacific Ocean. It was a truly breathtaking sight. I had been on this road dozens of times, maybe hundreds of times in my life, but that sight always managed to take my breath away.

First Beach was crowded with vacationing families who were taking advantage of the warm sunshine and gentle waves. It was hard to reconcile the sight of such normalcy given everything that had happened in the last 24 hours, but that was the magic of La Push. Things could be both ordinary and extraordinary here.

“So does this mean that you’ll stay here?” Leah asked suddenly.

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly. “I mean. We have to go to college first and stuff, assuming that nothing else happens.”

Leah nodded. We had both been accepted to the University of Washington in Seattle and were supposed to start our freshman year this fall. Though of course, that plan had been in flux for the past few months given the Victoria situation.

“I can’t believe we’re actually going,” Leah said, barely able to contain her excitement. “For a while, I thought I’d be stuck here … but anyways, it’s over. And I think we’re overdue for some peace and calm around here. Just think, we’ll be able to start new. Reinvent ourselves. Leave all this behind.”

I smiled. I could see the attraction for her. And I once would have been just as excited, but I was going to be leaving an important part of me behind. Jake still had two years of high school to finish. Leah noticed my silence and continued.

“I guess you didn’t hear that Jake managed to pass all of his classes this spring despite everything that was going on with the pack and Victoria.”

I looked at her in surprise. I mean, I had been afraid to ask, since I had just assumed the worse. I didn’t know how he could have passed. He had barely had time to sleep, much less study, given all the patrols he had been running.

“He actually did a lot better than just pass. The principal is a friend of Billy’s and agreed to turn a blind-eye to Jake’s continued absence from school if Jake could pass his finals, which he did with flying colors.”

Leah continued with a hint of a smile. “In fact, Jake has enough credits that if he does some summer school work, he’ll be able to graduate a year early. So he may be joining us in Seattle soon enough.”

I grinned suddenly as I felt the good news wash over me like a warm ocean wave on a hot summer. “I wonder why he didn’t tell me this.”

“Probably because he didn’t want to put any pressure on you,” Leah said with a shrug. “I only know because Billy told my mom.”

I chuckled to myself because it totally sounded like something Jake would do.

“He’s amazing,” I marveled. “He never said anything. Never so much as hinted about it. I can’t believe he did all of that work just in case we did end up together.”

“That’s Jake,” Leah said wistfully. “He’s a good guy. A REALLY good guy.”

I looked at her sharply. I knew she had just denied being in love with him, but there was something in her voice when she talked about him that didn’t quite convince me.

I opened my mouth to say something, but the look on Leah’s face made me shut me my mouth as I realized that she had said all she wanted to say. So I just sat back and looked out the window again as we rode in silence the rest of the way to Jake’s house.

← Chapter 29: Girl Talk      Chapter 31: Home →

About Me

I'm a Twilight fan who believes that Jacob Black is better for Bella than Edward, so I wrote these Team Jacob fanfiction stories to try to convert as many people to my side as possible. :)

I've tried to stay as faithful to the original books as possible up through At the Cliffs, which is when I break off from canon and write out Eclipse the way I wish it had happened!

So ... what do you think? Good? Bad? Ideas for other stories?

Please let me know!

Jane

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